The story of my life...Was i ready for this?

As a little girl, we have expectations. We fantasied about our prince charming, our wedding dress, our first home, beginning a family and happily ever after. I was that girl once, I had my whole life planned out and was determined to make it come true. Little did I know, saying I do, will change the rest of my life. As a young girl, I was very shy and a misfit. My daily routine included school, acting classes afterschool and my home. My mother was a single mother with 2 jobs and the only “family time” I had was with my sister doing homework or watching TV.  Yet, I always felt that something was missing. I remember seeing her cry everyday when I was 2-3 years old, I never new why but I guess it was because she felt alone after my father cheated and that eventually led to a divorce. He was her first true love and she didn’t care about their age difference, they were in love. I promised myself that wouldn’t be like my mom, I will not let a men make me feel the way she did. I will finish school, get a career, find my dream job and them start a family, I will break the cycle. So, I concentrated my thoughts in school and making plans for the future; becoming an actress.  For me, anything was possible, until I met the men of my dreams, or so I thought. The first day I met him, I felt a spark. Something inside of me had triggered this passionate sensation of need; I needed him. He had beautiful brown eyes, curly hair and was 7 years older than me. HE IS MATURE! I thought, compared to the high school kids who talked about getting drunk and going partying. I needed someone that had the same ideas about life as me but most of all that wanted a family as much I wanted one. He was the first man that had ever showed interest in me as a woman. He made me feel wanted, loved and secure. He showed me how to be free and wild. I didn’t care that my grades dropped or that he was still legally married with 2 kids, I loved him and that was all that mattered. Our relationship moved quickly, 4 months into the relationship, he asked me to marry him and without hesitation I said yes. I was the only girl in my class that was 17 and engaged, it make me feel important. Who wouldn’t feel important walking around the halls with a 2-karat diamond ring? Besides from my friends, I was the only one that had figured out her life plan, even though my initial plans had changed, I was more excited about my new plans with him. After 5 months of our relationship, he moved in with me. Even though my mother did not approve our relationship, she had to deal with the fact that it was eighter him moving in or me moving out.  She couldn’t bear with the idea of loosing me.  However, day after day, my mom insisted that I give a second thought on my decisions. That she didn’t want me to regret going inside the tunnel and not seeing the light at the end of it.  She would argue that I gave up on my dream because of him and love is not supposed to be that way. How could she know what love is? Yes, she got married when she was 18 and by the time she was 21 she was already divorced but that doesn’t make her an expert at love. She doesn’t know what she is talking about, I repeated over and over in my head. I build a wall between anything that did not accept my relationship; family, friends and even teachers. I loved being a housewife and taking care of his kids, I knew I was ready for the commitment. Besides, we were in love and nothing could go wrong.  But it did! It took me 3 months to find out that he was cheating on me with his “future” ex-wife. He made me believe that I was the one, the woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life, yet he was also thinking about someone else. He tore my heart into pieces. I wanted to die; all I ever wanted was to be loved, to have a family and to live happily ever after. What was I going to do know? The person I loved the most is gone and I’m 6 months behind in school. I cried day and night until one day I decided that it was time for me to set goals and move on. I started continuation high school and was on the right track. I was beginning to rebuild the relationship I had with my family and friends. I was loving myself and the person I was becoming. One month before graduation, I heard a knock at my door.  I opened the door and there he was, looking right at me, asking for forgiveness. My heart stopped, and then I remembered that feeling again, the love and the need. I didn’t care that he had ripped my heart in pieces, he was there, he left her for me, he loved me.