This semester has been a roller-coaster of emotions. I've cried out of frustration, I laughed until I was out of breath, and met interesting people with unique qualities. I learned that determination is the key for success and giving up was not an option. However, the journey for a successful semester was crazier that I could ever imagine. Coming back to College after 5 years was like teaching a 3 year old to write her name. I thought that I was going to have a heart-attack while I was walking to the class. The moment I saw Mr. Jay was like being on a blind date where you don't know what to expect. Homework after homework, challenge after challenge, compliments and bad reviews; Mr. Jay has open the door to my creativity and passion for writing. I'm happy to say that I survived, and how excited I am for what comes next. It's like what they say: "WHAT DOESN'T KILL YOU MAKES YOU STRONGER."
See you next semester Mr. Jay!!
Thursday, July 30, 2015
Wednesday, July 29, 2015
Robin Williams: The Fight Within Inner Demons
For Robin...
Life is not a fairy tale because for every happy story, sadness also comes in
the way. For actor and comedian Robin William, his depression began after his first
role in the late 1970’s “Mork and Mindy”, fans and viewers had high expectations for
Robin Williams. His charismatic, overjoyed, and sense of humor made him the most
requested actor of his time. The stress and rapid growth in the industry made him
become very good friends with cocaine and alcohol. This were the only two things
that will actually slow him down, however, these are also the two things that led him
to depression and to his suicide in 2014. He battled with drug and alcohol addiction
for many years, until the traumatic death of his best friend helped him overcome the
battle, yet the cure wasn’t permanent. After two decades of
sobriety, he relapsed, this was the first time he contemplated suicide. His inner
demons spoke to him and asked him to jump from a precipice, yet in his heart he
knew he was destine to a much happier life. His story was not ready to end. So,
instead of ending his life that day, he concentrated on his career by injecting himself
into his characters. Sometimes too much that friends and family didn’t recognize the
real Robin, or the fact that he was battling with severe depression. But, why were
we unable to oversee his illness? After all, he was a Hollywood star: Always in the
eyes of the media and constantly harassed by his fans. Why didn’t he ask for help?
The answer is simple: his family, fans, and the media set high expectations for him
and he didn’t want the world to see him as a weak person. The man who put a smile
in our face every time we saw him on television, the clown, the nanny, the president
wax figure, the person that inspired and raised our human spirit was falling into a
black hole and never came back. The world wanted a piece of Robin and we took it.
R.I.P Robin Williams 1951-2014
The story of my life...Was i ready for this?
As a little girl, we have expectations. We fantasied about our prince charming, our wedding dress, our first home, beginning a family and happily ever after. I was that girl once, I had my whole life planned out and was determined to make it come true. Little did I know, saying I do, will change the rest of my life. As a young girl, I was very shy and a misfit. My daily routine included school, acting classes afterschool and my home. My mother was a single mother with 2 jobs and the only “family time” I had was with my sister doing homework or watching TV. Yet, I always felt that something was missing. I remember seeing her cry everyday when I was 2-3 years old, I never new why but I guess it was because she felt alone after my father cheated and that eventually led to a divorce. He was her first true love and she didn’t care about their age difference, they were in love. I promised myself that wouldn’t be like my mom, I will not let a men make me feel the way she did. I will finish school, get a career, find my dream job and them start a family, I will break the cycle. So, I concentrated my thoughts in school and making plans for the future; becoming an actress. For me, anything was possible, until I met the men of my dreams, or so I thought. The first day I met him, I felt a spark. Something inside of me had triggered this passionate sensation of need; I needed him. He had beautiful brown eyes, curly hair and was 7 years older than me. HE IS MATURE! I thought, compared to the high school kids who talked about getting drunk and going partying. I needed someone that had the same ideas about life as me but most of all that wanted a family as much I wanted one. He was the first man that had ever showed interest in me as a woman. He made me feel wanted, loved and secure. He showed me how to be free and wild. I didn’t care that my grades dropped or that he was still legally married with 2 kids, I loved him and that was all that mattered. Our relationship moved quickly, 4 months into the relationship, he asked me to marry him and without hesitation I said yes. I was the only girl in my class that was 17 and engaged, it make me feel important. Who wouldn’t feel important walking around the halls with a 2-karat diamond ring? Besides from my friends, I was the only one that had figured out her life plan, even though my initial plans had changed, I was more excited about my new plans with him. After 5 months of our relationship, he moved in with me. Even though my mother did not approve our relationship, she had to deal with the fact that it was eighter him moving in or me moving out. She couldn’t bear with the idea of loosing me. However, day after day, my mom insisted that I give a second thought on my decisions. That she didn’t want me to regret going inside the tunnel and not seeing the light at the end of it. She would argue that I gave up on my dream because of him and love is not supposed to be that way. How could she know what love is? Yes, she got married when she was 18 and by the time she was 21 she was already divorced but that doesn’t make her an expert at love. She doesn’t know what she is talking about, I repeated over and over in my head. I build a wall between anything that did not accept my relationship; family, friends and even teachers. I loved being a housewife and taking care of his kids, I knew I was ready for the commitment. Besides, we were in love and nothing could go wrong. But it did! It took me 3 months to find out that he was cheating on me with his “future” ex-wife. He made me believe that I was the one, the woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life, yet he was also thinking about someone else. He tore my heart into pieces. I wanted to die; all I ever wanted was to be loved, to have a family and to live happily ever after. What was I going to do know? The person I loved the most is gone and I’m 6 months behind in school. I cried day and night until one day I decided that it was time for me to set goals and move on. I started continuation high school and was on the right track. I was beginning to rebuild the relationship I had with my family and friends. I was loving myself and the person I was becoming. One month before graduation, I heard a knock at my door. I opened the door and there he was, looking right at me, asking for forgiveness. My heart stopped, and then I remembered that feeling again, the love and the need. I didn’t care that he had ripped my heart in pieces, he was there, he left her for me, he loved me.
Take a look at this Bio-Mechanical Tattoo!!
Living in a world were you no longer feel a part of can be the key point for an extraordinary tattoo. A tattoo that expresses how you really feel and it describes yourself. As I look at this tattoo, I capture the vision that the artist had. In this tattoo it shows a women giving her back and showing her skin torn as if she no longer wants to cover what she has become; a bio-mechanical machine or a robot. The tattoo covers all her back exposing her mechanism. There are no organs, no bloodstream, just parts working together in order to be alive. The mechanism is colored in sepia as if trying to demonstrate that she hasn’t been herself in a long time. It can be interpret as many things, however, I put myself in her shoes and I can finally realize what this tattoo meant for her. We are all robots working under the same mechanism, being controlled and define by society. From the day we are born until the day we are no longer here, society has determined what we do, how we do it and when we do it. Life has become a routine where we all wake up, eat breakfast, go to school, go to work and the list goes on and on. Society has made us robots. Living in a world with rules and guidelines, were we no longer could express who we really are. When I see her tattoo on her back, I can see how she is trying to express that she has now given her back at herself. We spend all our life trapped inside a body thinking that we are living by our own decision, living to the fullest, ignoring society; blinded by our own skin.
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